Early Lessons of 2013
The end of the year is not too far away. What have you learned so far in 2013? Anything good?
Life is all about growth. Experiences and people push and pull you to form you into the person you are today assuming you're open to having your mold reformed. So who is around you now shaping you? More importantly, how much time do you spend reflecting on your own life, heart, mind, and spirit?
I'm a contemplative person in general. Yes, it's possible to be a completely silly dork and still spend a lot of time in your own mind. I swim inside of myself the majority of the time, searching and analyzing myself to the point where I make myself nuts. I look for signs, lessons, filters, and everything to bring me to a better, stronger version of myself.
So take the following reflections into consideration and see if they apply to you.
You Can Only Save Yourself
As hard as you try, you can only help someone as much as it healthy and feasible. When it comes to someone you love or care about, you are only responsible for your own decisions and actions. You can cheerlead, support, and care for them but the line has to be drawn when you begin taking on someone else's problems or toxic behaviors.
Everyone is faced with this situation at least once in their lives. It's the most helpless, guilt-inducing feeling in the world to watch someone willing walk into the ocean without a life vest or any swimming skills. You have to watch them succumb to the waves, all while they shout back to the shore that they're fine. If they can't fight for themselves, you can't do it for them. Exhausting yourself won't fix it. They'll bring you down with them if you go chasing into the waters to try to drag them out.
Time and Bad Memories Don't Reflect Reality
Ever notice how when someone wrongs you X amount of time ago, your memory tends to demonize that person? Call it life, call it humanity, call it whatever you want. But your memory isn't right and a lot of times our brains have a way of twisting things to protect our own egos.
Whether it's an ex, an old friend, or a dating relationship gone wrong, our minds have a way of making the other person look like the scum of the earth. There were good qualities about that person at some point, otherwise you'd never have had them in your life. You start to question what was real, what wasn't, what wasn't sincere, and even question the good times and memories in terms of their reality and sincerity.
My best advice I ever got was 'bless and release'. You don't have to harbor ill will against the people in your past. They were a part of your life for a reason.
Do Good Things for Other People
Corny? Probably. But dang, it never ceases to amaze me how I'll decide to do something nice for someone or help someone and it comes back to me tenfold. Do things for the right reasons and life has a way of coming back to reward you in your own time of need.
Denial is Never a Good Thing
Denial is a hell of a problem for most people. I don't mean like "Yeah I shrunk these jeans in the wash, I haven't gained any weight". It's more like, denial in the capacity used to justify things. Go into every situation and problem with your eyes wide open. Stop. Think. Assess. Trust your gut on things. If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not. No need to be polite or feel bad. Your instinct is right 99% of the time.
Take Care Of Yourself
It's really easy to toss in the towel when you're overwhelmed. I don't just mean take your vitamins and move 30 minutes a day. Take care of yourself!!! Your soul, your body, your every bit of your being needs the care. If you don't take care of yourself, it shows to the world. You can only wear a mask for so long. Genuinely take care of yourself and fulfill your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs for care. Splurge on a massage once in awhile. Feeling restless or lost? Find a book to give you tools to heal yourself so you stop going in circles.
If Someone Wants "Out" of Your Life, Let Them Go
As much as it hurts, if someone wants to walk, let them. Honestly, it's not worth fighting. You're an amazing person and you are loved. If someone doesn't want to fight to be a part of your life or can let you go so easily, they aren't meant to be a part of it. It's hard not to take it personally, but the reality of the situation is that you're just exhausting and hurting yourself either fighting or WAITING for them to come back.
You are not optional. Don't allow anyone to treat you as such.
Life is all about growth. Experiences and people push and pull you to form you into the person you are today assuming you're open to having your mold reformed. So who is around you now shaping you? More importantly, how much time do you spend reflecting on your own life, heart, mind, and spirit?
I'm a contemplative person in general. Yes, it's possible to be a completely silly dork and still spend a lot of time in your own mind. I swim inside of myself the majority of the time, searching and analyzing myself to the point where I make myself nuts. I look for signs, lessons, filters, and everything to bring me to a better, stronger version of myself.
So take the following reflections into consideration and see if they apply to you.
You Can Only Save Yourself
As hard as you try, you can only help someone as much as it healthy and feasible. When it comes to someone you love or care about, you are only responsible for your own decisions and actions. You can cheerlead, support, and care for them but the line has to be drawn when you begin taking on someone else's problems or toxic behaviors.
Everyone is faced with this situation at least once in their lives. It's the most helpless, guilt-inducing feeling in the world to watch someone willing walk into the ocean without a life vest or any swimming skills. You have to watch them succumb to the waves, all while they shout back to the shore that they're fine. If they can't fight for themselves, you can't do it for them. Exhausting yourself won't fix it. They'll bring you down with them if you go chasing into the waters to try to drag them out.
Time and Bad Memories Don't Reflect Reality
Ever notice how when someone wrongs you X amount of time ago, your memory tends to demonize that person? Call it life, call it humanity, call it whatever you want. But your memory isn't right and a lot of times our brains have a way of twisting things to protect our own egos.
Whether it's an ex, an old friend, or a dating relationship gone wrong, our minds have a way of making the other person look like the scum of the earth. There were good qualities about that person at some point, otherwise you'd never have had them in your life. You start to question what was real, what wasn't, what wasn't sincere, and even question the good times and memories in terms of their reality and sincerity.
My best advice I ever got was 'bless and release'. You don't have to harbor ill will against the people in your past. They were a part of your life for a reason.
Do Good Things for Other People
Corny? Probably. But dang, it never ceases to amaze me how I'll decide to do something nice for someone or help someone and it comes back to me tenfold. Do things for the right reasons and life has a way of coming back to reward you in your own time of need.
Denial is Never a Good Thing
Denial is a hell of a problem for most people. I don't mean like "Yeah I shrunk these jeans in the wash, I haven't gained any weight". It's more like, denial in the capacity used to justify things. Go into every situation and problem with your eyes wide open. Stop. Think. Assess. Trust your gut on things. If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not. No need to be polite or feel bad. Your instinct is right 99% of the time.
Take Care Of Yourself
It's really easy to toss in the towel when you're overwhelmed. I don't just mean take your vitamins and move 30 minutes a day. Take care of yourself!!! Your soul, your body, your every bit of your being needs the care. If you don't take care of yourself, it shows to the world. You can only wear a mask for so long. Genuinely take care of yourself and fulfill your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs for care. Splurge on a massage once in awhile. Feeling restless or lost? Find a book to give you tools to heal yourself so you stop going in circles.
If Someone Wants "Out" of Your Life, Let Them Go
As much as it hurts, if someone wants to walk, let them. Honestly, it's not worth fighting. You're an amazing person and you are loved. If someone doesn't want to fight to be a part of your life or can let you go so easily, they aren't meant to be a part of it. It's hard not to take it personally, but the reality of the situation is that you're just exhausting and hurting yourself either fighting or WAITING for them to come back.
You are not optional. Don't allow anyone to treat you as such.
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