Growing in the Desert
I've officially been in Arizona for about 9 months at this point and I can't believe how fast it's gone. Without a doubt, the last year has continued lessons for me that are there for me to find and expand on as the months continue marching by.
In prior Facebook lives, I talked about my reasoning for leaving Minnesota. It's not that it isn't my home and that I don't love my family, but I felt I outgrew it a long time ago.
2016 and 2017 were largely a swift kick in the pants for me, the fallout and effects are still things I have to deal with on some level now and then. Arizona has been a beautiful change but it most certainly has not been all roses and daisies for me, with numerous unforeseen changes and the need to adapt on a whim becoming a continual routine in my life.
As we get older, it's natural for our friends to start getting married, settling down, having kids, and moving away. By halfway through 2017, the vast majority of my friends fell into that category. I found myself perpetually alone, anxious, depressed, and miserable. I decided to shift my perspective around it as being a training tool to make a cross-country move, because honestly that was the best possible way to prepare myself for a new environment and a place where I knew no one. There's not a huge difference between living somewhere you always have and being by yourself, and moving somewhere you're not familiar with and always being by yourself.
2 months after moving here, I'd had enough of the isolation. Missing my family was difficult enough, but the perpetual solitude and longing for human connection exceeded my anxiety about finding something new to do, and that's exactly what landed me at EVKM and my krav maga training. And it was discovered with nothing more serendipitous and turning on my location settings on my phone and going to Yelp.
I was extremely nervous before I attended my first class. But I kept showing up, each time hoping that I would maybe connect with a person and begin making friends. Please let someone remember who I am, I'd whisper to myself as I'd park my car in the lot after a few classes.
It started with, "Oh hey, you're back?"
Soon, I would see vague recognition of me flash on people's faces. "What's your name again?" and my heart would about leap out of my chest. Maybe it was possible to make some new friends after all. I remembered this! I still knew how to do this!
Not too long from there, I started getting greetings of "Hey Abby!", smiles, and hugs and I finally started to feel like I belonged somewhere for the first time in almost two years.
Connection. Humanity. Friends.
Relief.
I've posted about it a million times, but EVKM has truly resurrected me in so many ways as a human being and I'm eternally grateful NOT just for the krav maga training I've received, but for the reviving of me after 2 years of being on emotional life support. It's been an oasis in the middle of the desert for me. It's renewed me. and given me something that I've sorely been missing: connection, belonging, and well-being. In a world that seemed to be determined to show me no mercy, it's provided the shelter and healing I sorely needed, woven beautifully into training that I had no idea ran deep in my blood.
But it started with the decision to change. I had to do it. I had to sacrifice my comfort zone and get out there and try something totally new.
If you're struggling and repeating the same patterns, it's your choice and your choice ALONE to breach the self-imposed walls of the prison you've built around yourself. If you want to make a change and feel good, it truly begins with you. If you're bored, lonely, or just need to feel like you're a part of something... you might need to actually step up and try something new for ONE HOUR. Even if it's scary, uncomfortable, or you don't feel like doing it.
Staying complacent is death in so many ways. You have no idea what or who you're missing out on unless you try. If you're feeling restless, isolated, or just need a change... you must be brave enough to stand up for yourself first. You could be missing out on something life changing.
Thank you to everyone at EVKM. I love you guys more than I can ever express.<3 p="">
In prior Facebook lives, I talked about my reasoning for leaving Minnesota. It's not that it isn't my home and that I don't love my family, but I felt I outgrew it a long time ago.
2016 and 2017 were largely a swift kick in the pants for me, the fallout and effects are still things I have to deal with on some level now and then. Arizona has been a beautiful change but it most certainly has not been all roses and daisies for me, with numerous unforeseen changes and the need to adapt on a whim becoming a continual routine in my life.
As we get older, it's natural for our friends to start getting married, settling down, having kids, and moving away. By halfway through 2017, the vast majority of my friends fell into that category. I found myself perpetually alone, anxious, depressed, and miserable. I decided to shift my perspective around it as being a training tool to make a cross-country move, because honestly that was the best possible way to prepare myself for a new environment and a place where I knew no one. There's not a huge difference between living somewhere you always have and being by yourself, and moving somewhere you're not familiar with and always being by yourself.
2 months after moving here, I'd had enough of the isolation. Missing my family was difficult enough, but the perpetual solitude and longing for human connection exceeded my anxiety about finding something new to do, and that's exactly what landed me at EVKM and my krav maga training. And it was discovered with nothing more serendipitous and turning on my location settings on my phone and going to Yelp.
I was extremely nervous before I attended my first class. But I kept showing up, each time hoping that I would maybe connect with a person and begin making friends. Please let someone remember who I am, I'd whisper to myself as I'd park my car in the lot after a few classes.
It started with, "Oh hey, you're back?"
Soon, I would see vague recognition of me flash on people's faces. "What's your name again?" and my heart would about leap out of my chest. Maybe it was possible to make some new friends after all. I remembered this! I still knew how to do this!
Not too long from there, I started getting greetings of "Hey Abby!", smiles, and hugs and I finally started to feel like I belonged somewhere for the first time in almost two years.
Connection. Humanity. Friends.
Relief.
I've posted about it a million times, but EVKM has truly resurrected me in so many ways as a human being and I'm eternally grateful NOT just for the krav maga training I've received, but for the reviving of me after 2 years of being on emotional life support. It's been an oasis in the middle of the desert for me. It's renewed me. and given me something that I've sorely been missing: connection, belonging, and well-being. In a world that seemed to be determined to show me no mercy, it's provided the shelter and healing I sorely needed, woven beautifully into training that I had no idea ran deep in my blood.
But it started with the decision to change. I had to do it. I had to sacrifice my comfort zone and get out there and try something totally new.
If you're struggling and repeating the same patterns, it's your choice and your choice ALONE to breach the self-imposed walls of the prison you've built around yourself. If you want to make a change and feel good, it truly begins with you. If you're bored, lonely, or just need to feel like you're a part of something... you might need to actually step up and try something new for ONE HOUR. Even if it's scary, uncomfortable, or you don't feel like doing it.
Staying complacent is death in so many ways. You have no idea what or who you're missing out on unless you try. If you're feeling restless, isolated, or just need a change... you must be brave enough to stand up for yourself first. You could be missing out on something life changing.
Thank you to everyone at EVKM. I love you guys more than I can ever express.<3 p="">
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