This is Life 2.0 edition
Being a writer is weird. At least, what inspires me to write is usually weird, random, and I never know what's coming. Most of the time I'll be in the middle of something, in the shower, and it's like something stirs inside of me and says HEY GO WRITE THIS RIGHT NOW. So I will. It's rare that I just come up with an idea or something to say; usually something in me just churns inside of me and just has to get out on paper or on a computer screen.
That being said, this is one of those times.
I quit my job about three weeks ago. People were congratulating me all over the place and super excited for me. It's not that I wasn't, but if you think for two seconds that my knees weren't wobbling when I went into my boss' office and handed in my resignation with an awkward "Erm.... you're not going to like this... I'm sorry, it's time for me to do something new with my life", you're delusional.
I went back to my desk and sat with my heart pounding out of my chest. What if I made a mistake? Did I jump the gun? Should I have waited? Was now the time? What if I fail? What if my business suddenly plummets and I have no way of making money? What if it's too hard? What if I never see my friends anymore? Oh shit, I should have waited another week. No, I'm okay. This was the right thing. Well... too late now. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Tears inadvertently started welling up in my eyes from the mixed emotions that were so overwhelming to me.
I love what I do. I love my job. I love that I run an Isagenix business and I get to help people all over the world. It's amazing and the biggest blessing that I've ever had. On the flip side, I cannot emphasize to you how much I loved my old job. Leaving that job was a tough call. Not the job itself, but the people. The people I worked with were all roughly my age, they were fun, and I loved them. I laughed my face off every day with them and I looked forward to Mondays NOT for the mundane tasks, but for the stories and the joy they brought me for the last 5 years. It wasn't the job that kept me there at all. It was the wonderful bouquet of humanity and personalities that graced and blessed my life for a half a decade. The friendships that I developed there are deep, long-lasting, and brimming with mutual respect and love.
Leaving that was incredibly difficult. I've never been good at goodbyes.
I spent my first week feeling lost. I was excited and happy but I was grieving the routine I left behind. I also didn't want to appear weak and did not want to reach out to others to ask for help. I was being inauthentic to my God-given need to connect with people. People keep me going. I'm accustomed to being there for others. I am NOT accustomed to me needing other people. I have built a legacy on independence and being positive. Here I was, living my dream, and tail-spinning into despair. What a beautiful irony. How annoying.
The first week was tough. Each week has actually gotten easier. This week has been a blast so far.
So here's the point of this blog post.
Sometimes when you jump ship, there won't be an life boat to pick you up.
Yup, there's a solid chance you're going to have to rely on yourself when you take a leap of faith. You may have to swim. You might have to get wet get your clothes wet. Yes, ladies, this might mean completely submerged- hair wet and all. You may have to fight the current to get to the shore allllllllll by your lonesome. Good thing I was a swimmer in high school and college. :)
Instead of being afraid of that and letting it hold you back, embrace it. That shore is looking pretty sweet. Don't let someone else sail your ship, and worse, don't let someone else drop their anchor to slow you down. It's the fastest way to lose your freedom in your adult life.
It's okay to reach out when you need help.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you're having a hard time. Talking to other people about this has actually revealed a quiet truth: EVERYONE who quits their job experiences what I have been feeling. Isn't that a comfort! PHEW! It's not a weakness at all!
Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. Additionally, admitting you're struggling is not a sign that you're a pansy either. It's just a sign of life and growth.
Allow yourself weak moments.
Nobody is strong or positive 24/7. I'm certainly not. Pushing down negative emotions isn't serving you well. Own them, deal with them, and choose to move on.
There is joy and peace in solitude.
Pride and self-sufficiency are hidden in the nooks and crannies of being alone a lot. It's not a bad thing. An adjustment, yes, but it's really a beautiful thing to be completely self-sufficient across the board. I have an obnoxious amount of freedom now. I'm serious. It's ridiculous and I'm already used to it. In reality, this is awesome. I may not have rubber band fights with one of my best friends every day, but there's still daily emails and lots of contact.
There's a difference between being alone and having no one. A huge difference. Being alone is not the same thing as not being loved. It doesn't mean that you're forgotten. It just means more time to discover yourself and finding a deeper, truer sense of your authentic self.
The people in your life who want to be in it will stay in it.
Now this goes WAY beyond my current situation. I'm talking to a lot of people who have people who are in limbo in their lives. People who shuffle in and out of your life usually have a place. Sometimes it's temporary. Sometimes it's permanent.
Here's the bottom line: If you have to beg anyone to stay in your life or communicate with you, then they don't belong there. Period. If someone wants to talk to you, they will. If they want a place in your life as you do in theirs, they'll make room. They're not too busy if you matter. Anyone who isn't making the effort is a waste of your time.
Change is hard but never taking a risk is harder.
You're not mundane and boring unless you choose to be. Settling for something because it's comfortable is never going to do you any favors.
Failure is an option but you have to roll the dice anyways.
Would you rather spend the rest of your life wondering? I sure as hell wouldn't. The truth of the matter is, there was no "cozy" time for me to leave my old job and go out on my own. Yup, I could totally crash and burn in this pursuit of my dreams and the life. Totally. But I'd rather not wonder and wish I'd had taken the jump anyways. At least I can say I tried.
Be grateful in the moment.
I exhausted myself with fear my first week out here. I let it consume me instead of focusing on the other stuff. Grieving and fearing losing the relationships I formed was very unwarranted and a huge waste of emotion. Once I let that go, it was like the ties binding me lifted instantly.
Don't forget the little things. I found myself driving today, as I often do, listening to one of my favorite songs. I realized I was in rush hour traffic, smiling with my hand pressed over my heart. I was so filled with peace and joy that I didn't know what to do with myself.
And really... that's all I've ever wanted for myself. That's pretty badass.
Hopefully this helps people out there somewhere.
Love and light,
Abby
That being said, this is one of those times.
I quit my job about three weeks ago. People were congratulating me all over the place and super excited for me. It's not that I wasn't, but if you think for two seconds that my knees weren't wobbling when I went into my boss' office and handed in my resignation with an awkward "Erm.... you're not going to like this... I'm sorry, it's time for me to do something new with my life", you're delusional.
I went back to my desk and sat with my heart pounding out of my chest. What if I made a mistake? Did I jump the gun? Should I have waited? Was now the time? What if I fail? What if my business suddenly plummets and I have no way of making money? What if it's too hard? What if I never see my friends anymore? Oh shit, I should have waited another week. No, I'm okay. This was the right thing. Well... too late now. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Tears inadvertently started welling up in my eyes from the mixed emotions that were so overwhelming to me.
I love what I do. I love my job. I love that I run an Isagenix business and I get to help people all over the world. It's amazing and the biggest blessing that I've ever had. On the flip side, I cannot emphasize to you how much I loved my old job. Leaving that job was a tough call. Not the job itself, but the people. The people I worked with were all roughly my age, they were fun, and I loved them. I laughed my face off every day with them and I looked forward to Mondays NOT for the mundane tasks, but for the stories and the joy they brought me for the last 5 years. It wasn't the job that kept me there at all. It was the wonderful bouquet of humanity and personalities that graced and blessed my life for a half a decade. The friendships that I developed there are deep, long-lasting, and brimming with mutual respect and love.
Leaving that was incredibly difficult. I've never been good at goodbyes.
I spent my first week feeling lost. I was excited and happy but I was grieving the routine I left behind. I also didn't want to appear weak and did not want to reach out to others to ask for help. I was being inauthentic to my God-given need to connect with people. People keep me going. I'm accustomed to being there for others. I am NOT accustomed to me needing other people. I have built a legacy on independence and being positive. Here I was, living my dream, and tail-spinning into despair. What a beautiful irony. How annoying.
The first week was tough. Each week has actually gotten easier. This week has been a blast so far.
So here's the point of this blog post.
Sometimes when you jump ship, there won't be an life boat to pick you up.
Yup, there's a solid chance you're going to have to rely on yourself when you take a leap of faith. You may have to swim. You might have to get wet get your clothes wet. Yes, ladies, this might mean completely submerged- hair wet and all. You may have to fight the current to get to the shore allllllllll by your lonesome. Good thing I was a swimmer in high school and college. :)
Instead of being afraid of that and letting it hold you back, embrace it. That shore is looking pretty sweet. Don't let someone else sail your ship, and worse, don't let someone else drop their anchor to slow you down. It's the fastest way to lose your freedom in your adult life.
It's okay to reach out when you need help.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you're having a hard time. Talking to other people about this has actually revealed a quiet truth: EVERYONE who quits their job experiences what I have been feeling. Isn't that a comfort! PHEW! It's not a weakness at all!
Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. Additionally, admitting you're struggling is not a sign that you're a pansy either. It's just a sign of life and growth.
Allow yourself weak moments.
Nobody is strong or positive 24/7. I'm certainly not. Pushing down negative emotions isn't serving you well. Own them, deal with them, and choose to move on.
There is joy and peace in solitude.
Pride and self-sufficiency are hidden in the nooks and crannies of being alone a lot. It's not a bad thing. An adjustment, yes, but it's really a beautiful thing to be completely self-sufficient across the board. I have an obnoxious amount of freedom now. I'm serious. It's ridiculous and I'm already used to it. In reality, this is awesome. I may not have rubber band fights with one of my best friends every day, but there's still daily emails and lots of contact.
There's a difference between being alone and having no one. A huge difference. Being alone is not the same thing as not being loved. It doesn't mean that you're forgotten. It just means more time to discover yourself and finding a deeper, truer sense of your authentic self.
The people in your life who want to be in it will stay in it.
Now this goes WAY beyond my current situation. I'm talking to a lot of people who have people who are in limbo in their lives. People who shuffle in and out of your life usually have a place. Sometimes it's temporary. Sometimes it's permanent.
Here's the bottom line: If you have to beg anyone to stay in your life or communicate with you, then they don't belong there. Period. If someone wants to talk to you, they will. If they want a place in your life as you do in theirs, they'll make room. They're not too busy if you matter. Anyone who isn't making the effort is a waste of your time.
Change is hard but never taking a risk is harder.
You're not mundane and boring unless you choose to be. Settling for something because it's comfortable is never going to do you any favors.
Failure is an option but you have to roll the dice anyways.
Would you rather spend the rest of your life wondering? I sure as hell wouldn't. The truth of the matter is, there was no "cozy" time for me to leave my old job and go out on my own. Yup, I could totally crash and burn in this pursuit of my dreams and the life. Totally. But I'd rather not wonder and wish I'd had taken the jump anyways. At least I can say I tried.
Be grateful in the moment.
I exhausted myself with fear my first week out here. I let it consume me instead of focusing on the other stuff. Grieving and fearing losing the relationships I formed was very unwarranted and a huge waste of emotion. Once I let that go, it was like the ties binding me lifted instantly.
Don't forget the little things. I found myself driving today, as I often do, listening to one of my favorite songs. I realized I was in rush hour traffic, smiling with my hand pressed over my heart. I was so filled with peace and joy that I didn't know what to do with myself.
And really... that's all I've ever wanted for myself. That's pretty badass.
Hopefully this helps people out there somewhere.
Love and light,
Abby
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