Lessons of 2013
The last few years I've made it a bit of a tradition to reflect on the lessons of each passing year. I also like doing this on milestone birthdays since the lessons are bigger, but even so, this year has been pretty wild.
While my "Year in Review" album on Facebook for 2013 looks extremely lame on Facebook, 2013 was not a lame year at all. I can honestly say, this was a big year for growth across the board.
Lesson #1: You Can't Make Anyone Stay in Your Life
People come and go. Be nice, be polite, be honest, but you can't make anyone stick around if they don't want to. There's no reason to be rude. Sometimes YOU'RE the one who has to exit someone's life for some reason. You don't have to be cruel or mean spirited about it. Severing a tie is sometimes necessary, but if someone severed you, don't sweat it. It's life, it happens, and you can't control anyone else's behavior but your own.
Lesson #2: If it Looks like a Duck and Quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
Trust your intuition. If you're getting bad vibes when you meet someone the first time, there is a reason for it. I had this happen on a first meeting, reconnected with that person later in the year, and it blew up in my face in a bad way. Your gut is usually right and generally, first impressions usually are too.
Lesson #3: Pay it Forward
If someone helped you along the way in the past with reaching a goal and wanted nothing in return, do the same for others. Don't withhold information. Be nice and sincere. The rewards will benefit you tenfold.
Lesson #4: Don't Accept "No" for an Answer in Terms of Opportunity
I have had articles and applications for publication declined numerous times. I kept trying. I waited. I tried again later and it paid off. Trust in patience and timing. Doors will open when they're supposed to.
Lesson #5: The Old Adage is Right... When a Door Closes, Open a Window
Sometimes hearing no or being disappointed happens for a reason. You won't always get what you want when you want it... and it's almost always because something else better is around the corner. Something you weren't even expecting that is about a hundred times better than what you planned. Have faith.
Lesson #6: Be Forgiving and Let Go
As hard as it is sometimes and as much as you might want vengeance if someone wrongs you, you HAVE to let it go. Life will take care of that person and any actions you take will come back and bite YOU in the butt. I've seen it happen to way too many people. This was the first year I've truly felt vengeful about something intentionally done wrong to me and had to sit on my hands to not take action. There's just no point and it would make me look bad, not the guilty party. Let it go. God will handle it, you have enough on your plate.
Lesson #7: Life Can't Be Lived Forward if You're Constantly Looking Backward
It's easy to get nostalgic and reflect on your current position vs where you've been. But don't get caught in a habit of that. It will suck the joy right out of your life and leave you in the bottom of a well you have to climb your way out of. Some doors were meant to stay shut.
Lesson #8: Hold Back a Little and Don't Trust Too Easily
You never truly know who people are until some time has passed. Don't be suspicious but don't lay it all out there either. Find a balance.
Lesson #9: If Someone Wants to Spend Time with You, They Will.
So stop waiting by the phone.
Lesson #10: Identify Behavior vs. Person
Figure out if you like how someone is treating you vs if you like that person themselves as a human. It can be tough to distinguish sometimes.
Lesson #11: Tough Love is still Love
And don't feel bad about it. Not even for a second.
Lesson #12: Don't Take Things So Personally
One of my friends said it best: Some people find a diamond and have it set in a piece of jewelry. Some people will throw the diamond in the trash. Regardless of how it's treated, it still has worth and it's not a reflection on the diamond itself.
The same can be said for you.
Lesson #13: You're Only a Victim in Life if You CHOOSE to Be
Ruts are a phase in life. Don't make it a lifestyle habit. You're limiting yourself and annoying people around you.
These are the main things I learned this year-- 2013 was a great year but I'm genuinely looking forward to all the good things 2014 has to bring. :)
While my "Year in Review" album on Facebook for 2013 looks extremely lame on Facebook, 2013 was not a lame year at all. I can honestly say, this was a big year for growth across the board.
Lesson #1: You Can't Make Anyone Stay in Your Life
People come and go. Be nice, be polite, be honest, but you can't make anyone stick around if they don't want to. There's no reason to be rude. Sometimes YOU'RE the one who has to exit someone's life for some reason. You don't have to be cruel or mean spirited about it. Severing a tie is sometimes necessary, but if someone severed you, don't sweat it. It's life, it happens, and you can't control anyone else's behavior but your own.
Lesson #2: If it Looks like a Duck and Quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
Trust your intuition. If you're getting bad vibes when you meet someone the first time, there is a reason for it. I had this happen on a first meeting, reconnected with that person later in the year, and it blew up in my face in a bad way. Your gut is usually right and generally, first impressions usually are too.
Lesson #3: Pay it Forward
If someone helped you along the way in the past with reaching a goal and wanted nothing in return, do the same for others. Don't withhold information. Be nice and sincere. The rewards will benefit you tenfold.
Lesson #4: Don't Accept "No" for an Answer in Terms of Opportunity
I have had articles and applications for publication declined numerous times. I kept trying. I waited. I tried again later and it paid off. Trust in patience and timing. Doors will open when they're supposed to.
Lesson #5: The Old Adage is Right... When a Door Closes, Open a Window
Sometimes hearing no or being disappointed happens for a reason. You won't always get what you want when you want it... and it's almost always because something else better is around the corner. Something you weren't even expecting that is about a hundred times better than what you planned. Have faith.
Lesson #6: Be Forgiving and Let Go
As hard as it is sometimes and as much as you might want vengeance if someone wrongs you, you HAVE to let it go. Life will take care of that person and any actions you take will come back and bite YOU in the butt. I've seen it happen to way too many people. This was the first year I've truly felt vengeful about something intentionally done wrong to me and had to sit on my hands to not take action. There's just no point and it would make me look bad, not the guilty party. Let it go. God will handle it, you have enough on your plate.
Lesson #7: Life Can't Be Lived Forward if You're Constantly Looking Backward
It's easy to get nostalgic and reflect on your current position vs where you've been. But don't get caught in a habit of that. It will suck the joy right out of your life and leave you in the bottom of a well you have to climb your way out of. Some doors were meant to stay shut.
Lesson #8: Hold Back a Little and Don't Trust Too Easily
You never truly know who people are until some time has passed. Don't be suspicious but don't lay it all out there either. Find a balance.
Lesson #9: If Someone Wants to Spend Time with You, They Will.
So stop waiting by the phone.
Lesson #10: Identify Behavior vs. Person
Figure out if you like how someone is treating you vs if you like that person themselves as a human. It can be tough to distinguish sometimes.
Lesson #11: Tough Love is still Love
And don't feel bad about it. Not even for a second.
Lesson #12: Don't Take Things So Personally
One of my friends said it best: Some people find a diamond and have it set in a piece of jewelry. Some people will throw the diamond in the trash. Regardless of how it's treated, it still has worth and it's not a reflection on the diamond itself.
The same can be said for you.
Lesson #13: You're Only a Victim in Life if You CHOOSE to Be
Ruts are a phase in life. Don't make it a lifestyle habit. You're limiting yourself and annoying people around you.
These are the main things I learned this year-- 2013 was a great year but I'm genuinely looking forward to all the good things 2014 has to bring. :)
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