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Honoring Your Need for Peace in 2019

For many of you that have known or followed me for awhile, you know that the last 3 years have (by and large) been some semblance of a dumpster fire with a few brief points of normalcy and peace. For the last few months, I've been adapting to living briefly with my guardian angel friend, Jill, and taking a breather after an unrelenting year of unforeseen stress and loss. I located and signed on the dotted line to move into my new place on January 5th, and with that anxiety away, I'm feeling excited and ready for the next chapter. 2018 is a year I will NEVER forget. I'm certain that I'm not the only person that encountered some adversity and somehow managed to survive. 2018 was largely spent alone, with the exception of being at my krav maga gym. When I moved here on Labor Day weekend of 2017, I never in a million years anticipated my telecommuting position being eliminated just four months after arriving here. I was not connected to the community and had virtually n
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Growing in the Desert

I've officially been in Arizona for about 9 months at this point and I can't believe how fast it's gone. Without a doubt, the last year has continued lessons for me that are there for me to find and expand on as the months continue marching by. In prior Facebook lives, I talked about my reasoning for leaving Minnesota. It's not that it isn't my home and that I don't love my family, but I felt I outgrew it a long time ago. 2016 and 2017 were largely a swift kick in the pants for me, the fallout and effects are still things I have to deal with on some level now and then. Arizona has been a beautiful change but it most certainly has not been all roses and daisies for me, with numerous unforeseen changes and the need to adapt on a whim becoming a continual routine in my life. As we get older, it's natural for our friends to start getting married, settling down, having kids, and moving away. By halfway through 2017, the vast majority of my friends fell into
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Being Single in an Online Society

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Soooooooo many married people out there. Sooooooooo many people who have been in long term relationships. When you've been out of the game for awhile, it's always a bit difficult to remember what it's actually like to be single-- and that's totally understandable. But one thing I'm definitely noticing is just the total lack of understanding that many people who have been in a happy relationship literally just haven't experienced: the total shift culturally with the added barrier of social media and online dating and how much it's complicated things. I spoke with a friend earlier this week that's happily married to an awesome woman. He's a fantastic guy with great morals, but I experienced the same frustration talking to him. "Why are you posting about crazy people with dating? I mean I know everyone meets one from time to time, but it shouldn't be this often." REALLY. So let's shed some light on what's going on in this soc
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The Battle Within

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I've lived in Arizona for about 6 weeks now-- the culture shock (really... more like the climate shock) has worn off. I don't exactly have a robust social life or easy way of making friends working at home, but it's been a fairly quick adjustment after 3 weeks of feeling a little lost. I've not had the chance to "set roots" in over a year, set up my own space, and truly feel like I can just... calm down for a bit. I had next to no control of what happened the last year. The result? A stronger, but physically softer and emotionally much more paranoid, me. My flight landed in Minneapolis last Wednesday night around 11 and I was instantly aware of the humidity in the air and could not believe how much colder 48 feels to me now in comparison to the last time I felt it. To be honest, being here the last few days has been wonderful for so many reasons, but it also reminded me of why I wanted to leave. The leaves are at full peak here in Minnesota. There's a mu
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The Top Mistakes Aspiring Fitness Models Make

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I began my fitness journey almost 10 years ago. With about 10 shows and around 80 published photos and/or articles under my belt, I feel the need to write a blog that I think could help many people that are currently in or aspiring to be in the fitness industry. One of the most common emails I get (often from parents who have kids who want to get into the fitness modeling industry) is "What do I need to know? How do I go about getting myself/my kid published?" When I began competing in 2008, competing was an underground sport. The only physique categories were fitness, figure, and bodybuilding. Bikini and physique were added a few years later. Since then, everyone and their mom competes. And everyone and their mom wants to get into fitness modeling. And trust me, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But the big thing you need to know is why do you want to compete and model? And equally as important (if not moreso), how are you marketing yourself?
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So You Want to Dye Your Hair Purple...

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                              I get emails and messages all the time, or people stopping me somewhere and saying "OMG I love your hair color! I would love to have purple hair but I'm not brave enough!" Okay, I can get that. But really it's not about bravery... it's about the commitment that purple hair actually is. Purple hair is a tedious marriage that requires time, effort, patience, and unconditional love to keep your locks that vibrant color you love. My hair has been some semblance of purple for about 3 years now so I've lived through all of it. Almost every brand, every shade, every cleaning process, every everything. Let us also bear in mind that I went to cosmetology school so I'm pretty much fearless when it comes to hair color because I know I can always fix it. So before you jump into having your hair superhero colors, here are some things I've learned. If You Don't Know What You're Doing, Go To The Salon The First Time... or 8. If
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Thoughts on a Friday Night: Confessions and "The Universal Assignment and You"

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I was invited to my friend's house about two hours north of the Twin Cities this weekend, so I made the trek up here and was left alone with my thoughts and an audiobook for a few hours. It's a chilly night in late September by Lake Millacs. It's quiet. peaceful, and I sit here on my laptop in my makeshift bed wrapped up warm in a blanket and a million thoughts in my head. The month of September was probably one of the most difficult things I've been through. But realistically, I'm grateful for all of it, and it was truthfully the hammer dropping on a lot of things in my life. There's so much I can't write about because I simply can't. There's so much behind the scenes that I could write a novel about in terms of learning experiences. The man that I was dating often asked me why I didn't blog more often. I didn't really have an answer at the time, but the truth of the matter is I just didn't feel like writing. If I'm be
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